


we are far too young and clever

by domeric_bolton



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 03:38:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4591551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domeric_bolton/pseuds/domeric_bolton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I mean, tons of our friends have weirder boyfriends than Wade Wilson. Right?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	we are far too young and clever

**Author's Note:**

> basically i wanted to write clint/kate friendship and somehow spideypool snuck in here bc im gay. please don't take this seriously.

Clint likes to think that he doesn't set Peter and Wade up so much as he physically threw them together. When he tells Kate this, she appears both skeptical and amused.

"You body-checked your ex into my ex's best friend?" she grins, her lips curved around her dumb red Solo cup that Tony keeps in his basement. Okay, Kate's only eighteen, too young to drink, but Natasha's out of town (she's pretty much 85% of Clint's impulse control) and Clint's pretty sure he couldn't another one of Tony's parties without an escort.

"I totally forgot that you dated Miles," says Clint thoughtfully. "Don't your parents have some rule about dating black guys?"

"They want me to marry a white guy so I can carry on the family name and have little mixed-race babies, yes, but they don't give a shit about who I date." Kate pauses to scowl into her cup of shitty beer and continues, "And anyways, Miles and I dated in middle school. We were practically babies."

"You're not even legally allowed to drink, Katie-Kate, you're a baby too. And speaking of boyfriends that don't count, I don't think Wade and I ever dated as much as we-"

"Fucked?"

"Watch your mouth, and no, I was about to say _messed around_. I'm pretty sure it is impossible to be serious around that guy."

Kate just shrugs. "And yet, you're setting him up with one of your friends."

"Peter can handle him."

They both look through the crowd of partygoers to where Peter and Wade are standing. Wade isn't wearing his usual getup of a sweatshirt and ski mask, instead dressed in a simple tee shirt and his dumbass I ❤ HEROES baseball cap. Peter is talking loudly with his arms crossed over his chest. Clint can almost hear him from here.

"I mean, tons of our friends have weirder boyfriends than Wade Wilson. Right?" attempts Clint, as Wade lays a hand on Peter's shoulder and gets it slapped off. "Like, Steve, for example, or your friend David. Or Wanda. Or Thor."

"Clint, please."

He grins. "And you dated that DJ guy that I totally disapproved of."

"And you dated Jess," she retorts cheerily, because she loves bringing up Clint's past experiences in dating closeted lesbians. "But it's not like I constantly fuck with you about your exes."

This is a lie. It's just that Kate has more exes than he does, which is ridiculous, and that makes it easier to occasionally mock her. And Jess and Clint do, in fact, have a stable friendship now, thanks to Jess being involved in a disgustingly cute relationship with Carol.

"Whatever," says Clint eloquently. "I'm just glad that Peter's actually talking to Wade, instead of hanging around Gwen and Miles all night."

"I'm still confused as to why you're dead set on setting those two up." Kate frowns at Peter and Wade, both involved in what appears to be a deep conversation. "I mean, when I imagine a dream mate for Wade, I think of... I don't even know. Not some tiny nerd who codes and does parkour."

"You're a tiny nerd who does archery, and you get dates."

"I'm an average-sized nerd, Clint. And I get dates because of my sparkling personality and above-average beauty. Ask America."

"Whatever," he repeats. Clint feels dangerously close to toppling into the void of Boredom Drinking- not that Tony's parties aren't full of excitement, maybe too much excitement, but with just Kate they can be lonely- so he reminds himself to keep running his mouth. "Figured that if I pushed Wade in Peter's direction, they'd at least talk, you know? 'Cause Wade's still kinda fucked up since Nate left him."

"Nathan Cable? He dated the _other_ scary guy with a prosthetic arm that we know?"

"I know, right? And Peter... he 'n I were just hanging around with Jess and Carol, and he's talking about how he's never dated a guy even though he wanted to, and I figured- y'know."

"Aw, you're so sweeeeet." Kate reaches up to pinch his cheek, and Clint dodges her hand. "And you're kinda drunk. Is it time for me to drive you home? Or call America to drive us, because I miiiight not be the most sober I've ever been right now."

"Please don't tell your girlfriend that a guy in his twenties got you drunk at a house party," he pleads. 

"Like she cares, all my friends love you." Kate's eyes flick to the middle of the basement, and starts giggling.

Clint follows her gaze. The middle of the room's been almost cleared out, and someone's put on Come On Eileen for the third time tonight, and there's a guy breakdancing in the middle of a ring of people. "Oh god," he mumbles. 

Because of course it's Wade. Of course. And the best part isn't that Wade's dancing is terrifying onlookers for more reasons than his deformed skin, it's that Peter is laughing and clapping along.

"Maybe he's drunk?" suggests Kate, and Clint has no idea which guy she's talking about. "You should go intervene."

"Aw, Kate, no." Clint sullenly doesn't move. "Wade's not my responsibility."

"You just made a speech about controlling his love life."

"Not controlling. Just- _assisting _."__

__"Fine. Now go _assist_ him in getting off the dance floor before Tony throws him out."_ _

__Of course, Tony does end up throwing Wade out, because Wade and parties never go well together. But Peter ends up leaving around the same time, so Clint calls the night a success. And then he calls America to pick him and Kate up._ _

**Author's Note:**

> if u wanna yell at me im @domericbolton on tumblr


End file.
